'Bah Bila?'

Many have written their own versions and understanding of Brunei Malay weddings. Writing from experience of being involved in the whole wedding process or from a guest's point of view or the Bride or Groom's point of view.

Weddings are huge events in Brunei. A Sunday without a wedding somewhere in this country would be like no internet connection for 12 hours. Last year I attended some weddings of distant relatives and also my close friends.

Back in college, my gang and me, we called ourselves 'Barang Dapur' would figure out who would get married the first and the last. I was the youngest in my gang, so I was definitley the last to get married and that prediction is true.

All my friends in 'Barang dapur' have gotten hitched and three of them, 'Sudu', 'Sambal' and 'Sinduk' are now proud father's. Everytime I see them for 'Teh Tarik' or just bumping into them at a shop somewhere, the question would pop up. 'Bah Bila??'

My Fiance and myself have encountered this alot and we have come up with different answers all the time. Practice makes perfect.

Possible answers:-

'Ada tah tu' - 'We'll see'
'Tunggu saja' - 'Just wait'
'Alum ku puas bujang' - 'I still want to enjoy bachelorhood'
'Jan tah ingar' - 'You don't have to worry' (No exact word in English to describe 'ingar')
'Lau ku kawin ada ku manggil' - 'when I get married, I will invite you to my wedding'
'Malas ku kawin! Mahal' - 'I don't want to get married! Its too expensive'
'Ko mau sponsor?' - 'You want to sponsor me?'
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So many things to consider and so many things to plan. The 'Antar Berian' Ceremony, The 'Nikah' ceremony, The 'Berbedak' Ceremony and the grand finale - The 'Bersanding' Ceremony.

2007 will be a major year for myself as I will go through these various traditional Malay wedding ceremonies for my wedding. So I revisited MR BR's posts about weddings and he has quite a collection :-

Male Wedding costume - link here
Wedding cost again - link here
Brunei Wedding practices - link here
Questions to ask before saying yes - link here
Bunga Telur - link here

I think I am missing a few so I hope Mr BR could fill me in on some more wedding related articles if I missed any. My big day, insyallah will be in June.

We decided on the date last year in November and we have settled some major things for the wedding and it did not struck me that I was really going to go through with this until last night.

I was pouring a glass of cold milk when my father asked me what colour would I like to have for the family. The usual Brunei wedding is that the close family will be wearing the same colour 'baju cara melayu' and 'baju kurung' or better know as 'Sekayu'. I asked him why was it my decision and my father said 'Well this is 'Your' wedding'.

BAMM!!

As if my head my hit by a 9 degree Stiff flex shaft Titleist driver. I am getting married this year and we had a 'Father Son' talk about how my preparations have gone so far. We still ahve som many things to do but at this rate, I figure we are doing a reasonable job at planning our wedding.

So I will start counting down the sunsets before I am binded lawfully and rightfully to my Fiance that one afternoon in June 2007.